Unfortunately Vitali and I severed ways after the last contest citing "irreconcilable differences with the artistic direction and execution of the project". It was a great loss indeed. As an unexpected stroke of luck I was able to work out a deal with the great Agent Velour for the second contest. The standard contract has no call for nudity. It was Agent Velour who insisted upon it.



I was not aware that Agent Velour will not wear pants under any circumstances. (All contract negotiations were done over the phone and fax.) As a result the photography had to be more creative in order to conceal the naughty bits.


1. Picture of your minimate riding a dinosaur.
It's a little known fact in paleontological circles that most dinosaurs were fond of popsicles. Several devices believed to make the frozen treats have been found at excavation sites around the globe. It is unknown what flavors the dinosaurs preferred, but grape seems an obvious choice.

In this shot, Agent Velour is sharing his tasty treat with the young Tyrannosaurus Rex, completely oblivious to the Vastatosaurus Rex (V-Rex) coming from behind. Don't judge the V-Rex too harshly though. He's actually very polite and will wait his turn without so much as an ill word.


2. Picture of your minimate dressed as a rockstar!!
Agent Velour insisted that he sing while shooting this challenge. He felt that authenticity was of the utmost importance. Apparently nobody has ever told him that his singing abilities are worse than Jessica Simpson's. Luckily the mic was not connected to the amps. Had the neighbors been forced to hear "Opposites Attract"* as many times as I was, blood would have been spilt.

(*Side note: Agent Velour is quite a fan of Paula Abdul's music catalog. Yet when I mentioned American Idol all I got was a blank stare and a confused eyebrow wrinkle.)


4. Picture of your minimate somewhere it shouldn't be!
"Can you guys keep it down out here. I'm trying to study the mating habits of pygmy rhinos and they can't get in the mood with all your racket."


5. Picture of you and your minimate pretending to be DST Chuck and/or Matt.
Ahh, the perils of doing topical humor. Since I shot this, Deadpool (the guy in the waste bin) has had three Minimates released. I should have listened to Velour, he tried to warn me but I didn't take his 'three-legged chihuahua' story seriously. It's obvious that he is a wise, wise man.


6. Picture of your minimate in jello.
It didn't take much to convince Agent Velour to pose in this photo. The jello mold took took the better part of a weekend to construct. Velour spent half that time fully encased as the upper levels formed above him. A sophisticated network of tubing supplied and removed nutrients. He was entertained by a DVD of Empty Nest played on a continuous loop.


7. Picture of your minimate vs some ninjas.
This photo brings back some bad memories. We sunk way too much money into that Power Loader just to keep it from killing people. When we finally got all the kinks ironed out (and paid off the families of the crushed interns) we were basically out of money to hire ninjas. We had to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find ninjas that would work for what we could pay. One guy stole all the Cheese Doodles from the Craft Services table. Another guy smelled like pygmy rhino urine. The other guy hid in the studio after shooting and unscrewed all the lightbulbs. He didn't steal the bulbs, just unscrewed them. The chick? We all thought the chick was normal until reached into an intern's chest and pulled out his heart. Ate it right there in front of him, too. Apparently she was pissed because there were no more Cheese Doodles.


9. Picture of your minimate re-enacting a historic moment.
How's that for an arty shot? It was done all 'in-camera' too, no Photoshop here. The Earth in the distance is a rubber ball balanced on a bit of black rigging. All the lighting was done with LEDs. For a short time Velour almost reconsidered his 'mandatory nudity' policy. You see it is very cold... in space.

The third Hunt contest is going on now, and you can enter. Check this link for details.