Block Babes
October 12, 2009

 - Project Date:April 1, 2009

We've all heard how bad the economy is. Some people have been hit harder than others. When things get tough, sometimes you have to do things you're not proud of just to get by.

Last spring I needed to make some quick cash so I started up a new Internet venture. As a word of caution, the following post may be Not Safe For Work. Click at your own peril.
After a string of unwise investments and gambling losses, I found myself pretty hard up for cash. I tried everything. So I turned to everybody's eventual last hope, the adult entertainment industry.

You know, it's not hard to get started in this business. Buy a pair of floodlights, place a couple Craigslist ads, rent a motel room and you're basically done. I'll share some of the backstory so you know what to expect when you eventually have to start your own adult site.

Block Babes sounded like a pretty good name. Of course it references the shapely nature of the models and it's alliterative. Alliteration is important in branding. The reaction of the focus groups was mixed, but we felt there was enough name recognition to keep people coming back and referring their friends.

This is Janine and Lucas. Janine was one of the first respondants to the Craigslist ad. Exactly what we were looking for, fun, outgoing, and corners so sharp... She asked for a bit more money than we offered in the ad, but she was saving money for college so we figured it was for a good cause.

Lucas, well, he did his job. He arrived on time. Followed direction. Didn't eat all the Cheetos. What more could you ask for?

Here's Rainey, Snowy and Sven. Rainey and Snowy were referred to us by Janine. There was a whole sordid backstory between the three of them that somehow involved licorice and a fortune in jewels. I'd share the details, but the case is still in court so my hands are tied. Janine had told them how much she made for her shoot, so the girls asked for the same rate because they were also saving for college. Education is important.

Sven really helped us out of a jam. Originally this was going to be a two-on-two kind of shoot, but the other guy called in sick, moaning about some freak frisbee accident. Sven really stepped up his game and performed admirably. He even modified the dialogue on the fly so that it now made sense even though he was performing both roles. I hear he's acting in Made-For-TV movies now.

Lucas is back with newcomer Eleanor. When a guy says he's always wanted to work in adult films, don't believe him. Apparently every guy says this and none of them have the guts to follow through. It got to the point where we were scheduling four or five guys per shoot in the hopes that at least one of them would show up and perform. Looking back, I was glad we always had Lucas as backup. Sure there was nothing special about his abilities, but he did the job. Never complained. Who am I to laugh and point?

Eleanor was a champ. She was from some Slavic student exchange program and didn't yet speak much English. But she knew what all the hand gestures meant and that's all we really needed. Nobody noticed her webbed toes until we started cutting video. Once we're down to web resolution though, you can't even tell.

The site is still up if you're interested.

Well, that's how I got out of debt. And my six Bentleys. And my two yachts. And my solid-gold mansion. Sure, adult entertainment can be lucrative. But for me it was more about the art, the exploration of sensual imagery. You know, to learn more about the human condition.